I Don’t Like…
by Ané Kameko
Don’t play your ukelele near me
I really don’t like those things
What kind of a silly would-be guitar
Has but only 4 strings?
Do us a favour, stand further away
I didn’t ask to be so close today
Despite your pungent cologne
Aftershave, your perfume,
It’s really assaulting my nose
So, Excuse me
Did you think I wanted to know
How you wish to smell, or don’t.
Do you have to walk so slow?
Cut me off on this footpath and
Drag your feet along
Staring at your screen,
Without focusing
Slowing me down, enraging!
Sometimes when you don’t hear me
For the third time repeat
I wonder if you’d be better off
Asleep? Less slow perhaps.
At least your brain wouldn’t be so
Overloaded. Taking strain under
Simple words it decoded.
Hey!
don’t blame me
If you can’t hear that something
Exploded.
it was me. I’m angry today!
And someone had the nerve
To look my way.
Excuse me sir, are you crazy?
Go sit in that row that’s empty!
And stop glancing at me.
Did you lose control of your eyeballs?
I suggest, (listen, this is practical)
Look away or I’ll kick you in the testicles.
It’s just sometimes
My spell check gets under my skin
The bell checks in with too-loud a ring
I can’t stand the ticking of a clock
Or the tapping of a shoe
Or some ho who opted for a
Ridiculous black-and-white two-tone hairdo!
Ugh! People! Look at you.
When did you all become so fat
And unhealthy, with dumpy looks,
Where are all the better folks at?
Why are you wasting my time
Trying to talk to me about books?
Don’t you see when you talk
Is like nails dragging out
On a board of chalk?
Call me crazy, okay, I don’t mind
All I’m saying is today
My reason you won’t find.
